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sam999's Parody: 'Eat Hand' - Posted Thursday, 3rd November 2011 by Laura

Disclaimer: The opinions displayed in the following piece of fiction do not necessarily reflect those of the CCSF organisers, or the Community as a whole. They belong solely to the author of this piece and should be treated as such.

Eat Hand


It had taken years, but the creatures community was back. Once the C4 game had been released by Fishing Cactus, while bad it had attracted new members, enough that there would be budget to make a better C5. That had been over ten years ago.

Now, as our narrator, who we will simply call the fan plugged in his brain-interface headset to the computer and downloaded the software, he was quite exited. Creatures Ten! A whole new game, keeping the norns, ettins and grendels as well as the aquatic sebryeins that C9 had added, as well as being the first creatures game to use the new, but already popular VR brian link.

Loading the game, he clicked past the user agreement, the "load new world" button, and after a few minutes of waiting was in.

The 3D world, nearly a mile across at human scale spread about before him. In the foreground, the egglaying machine.

It looked vaguely like the Muco of the old docking station, but has more buttons, allowing for a user to cycle between all four of the game's species, and the different breeds within them. He quickly set it to "norn" noting that the VR link made the buttons feel like touching real wood chose a likely looking breed, and hit "hatch the egg." Minutes later, his first creatures 12 norn had hatched. He tickled it, feeling digitally simulated fur.

Next, teaching it to talk. "Toy" he said, the words appearing above the hand as he pointed at a bouncy ball. "Toto" the norn said, and attempted to eat the ball making a rubbery squeaking noise followed by a loud "pop!" and a nornish "ow!" The norn look at him as if for assistance. "No" he said, "that's eat."

The norn looked confusedly at the hand. "Hand" the hand said helpfully. The norn looked thoughtful. "Eat hand" it said….

The motto: Well, if minecraft can have endless creepypasta about weird bugs, then why not creatures? It's a better game after all.

Download 'Eat Hand'!

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